Finding Purpose In Running Part 1

Finding purpose in worldly endeavors often leads to anxiety and heartache. Although I knew this in my heart, I still let athletic accolades define me even after I quit basketball (see blog post #8). You’d think the pain I endured during the last few years of my basketball years would have dissuaded me from focusing too much on sports at least for a little while, but almost immediately I tried to find something to fill the void that basketball had left in my life. That something was running. 

Although that may sound silly to some of you (I know that cross country is not an extremely popular sport and running is most often a form of punishment for other sports), running was a passion of mine, and when I quit basketball it quickly became an idol. It didn’t help that I started to excel at it during my sophomore year. Because I was very insecure at the time about who I was, I wanted to be good at running (just like basketball) so I could have my niche or “clique” if you will. Although I certainly never thought I was “all that”, my success led to more confidence which ultimately gave me a never ending craving for more. 

My ultra competitive nature combined with my insecurity made it so I could accept nothing but being the best. This made me into a very strong athlete, but it cost me dearly and made me extremely miserable. 

From the outside, it may have seemed like I was a hard worker. And I was. But in my work I lost sight of who I was as a person. There is a fine line between dedication and idolatry, and it was a line I crossed. 

My mood was dictated by how I performed. It was all I thought about, and all that was important to me. I neglected friendships, rejected the gospel, and refused to dedicate time to anything besides mking myself a better athlete.

After ending the sophomore campaign with a first team All-District placement and a huge personal best time, I set out to break records my junior year. Earlier, I said my idolatry came at a price, and it was a price that I paid dearly for, but not until late into my junior season.

Check back next time as I continue to recap my experience with making sports an idol, the effect it has had on my life, and the maturation process that these effects have brought about.