The nines battle against merging personalities.

In addition to the nines habit of merging their opinions with others, nines will go as far as merge their personalities with people around them.

For as long as I can remember, my handwriting changed from assignment to assignment, sentence to sentence, word to word and even letter to letter. Sometimes I was trying to copy my friends handwriting and sometimes I was just trying to avoid my ugly handwriting. Despite my constant attempts to mimic my friends handwriting, I was never successful. I couldn’t keep up the charade. By the second sentence, my handwriting deformed into a sloppy mess of letters. 

It was not just my handwriting that was subject to change on the daily, but I was subject to change. Desperate to fit in, I would try to be like the cool people, but like my handwriting, it never worked. Instead of gaining friends, I lost friends because they could see right through my disingenuousness and dwindling self confidence.

This is not exclusive to nines, but nines are prone to changing themselves because of their core fear of loss and separation and their desire to keep the peace. In an effort to maintain relationships, nines can destroy relationships by trying to be what they think others want them to be, but nines need to remember that the best way to avoid loss and separation while maintaining peace is to confidently be their genuine self.

As I slowly learned this lesson, I started developing my own natural handwriting, and my genuine personality. It is a difficult lesson to learn without learning it the hard way, but it is all worth it in the end.

Now, I consider myself a fairly genuine person, but as soon as I hear someone likes me or thinks I’m funny or cool I start to wonder how long it will be until they don’t think that anymore. It is a daily battle to remember that they liked me when I was being myself because my nature is to start trying to be the thing they think I am. As a result, I’m lead down a downward spiral if disingenuousness and self merging.

For many nines, everyday is a battle to shamelessly be their themselves, but the good news is it is a battle they can and do win.