February is the month of Mardi Gras, the groundhog always seeing his stupid shadow, and most importantly, Valentine’s Day. A day of overpriced chocolate and heart-eye emojis, this polarizing holiday is at the forefront of most people’s minds come mid February. Either you love it or you hate it, and personally I hate it.

While some may simply despise the “lovey-dovey” aspects, I hate the fact that it is  just another day where the media gets to impose their sterotypical sexism onto the women of today. Commercials like Teleflora’s 2011 Super Bowl advertisement (watch it, it’s seriously crazy) depict the man giving multitudes of time and money in order to woo the beautiful woman, who sits by and lets the presents rain from the sky. At the end of the date, the gorgeous woman, now laden down with gifts, is expected to repay the generous man with sex.

Progress for women’s rights is often measured by tangible data; women in the workplace, politics, and a decline in abuse. But the recurrence of stereotypes cannot be measured. These stereotypes have refused to decline since the beginning of time, and ideas and expectations for women in regards to men are still being taken and enforced from the 1955 magazine article “The Good Wife’s Guide.” This article features horribly sexist sayings such as , “A good wife always knows her place” and “Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking.” These sayings altogether highlight the stereotypes that frequented the time, and as horrible as a lot of these lessons sound, Valentine’s Day is simply another day where these lessons are perpetuated. The pattern that Teleflora’s ad follows is the expected norm of Valentine’s day that men expect women to follow. Women already struggle with attaining the image that the media imposes on them; a day devoted to love and appreciation should not be spent worrying over appearances. Instead, the day should be about love in the purest sense- caring about what’s underneath the skin without dwelling on the above.

Besides the dauntingly overwhelming amount of evidence for progressing stereotypes, there are more reasons why Valentine’s Day is a sad excuse for a holiday. People in relationships feel the pressure to deliver the picture perfect day, while singles are forced to watch as everyone around them partakes in the festivities. There is an unnecessary amount of pressure on the man to deliver, while most times the woman sits back and lets herself be spoiled. The standards for men and women are magnified mid-February. Men are expected be the romantic, strong lover who sweeps a woman off of her feet and pours all of his time and money into wooing his dream girl. Women just need to sit still and look pretty while they receive the affection, but only as long their “pretty” is a size 2 with long hair and curves in all the right places.

A good date with dinner reservations and presents require weeks of planning and excessive amounts of money that could be better used. Men average spending around $170 on Valentine’s, while women spend an average of $85, demonstrating the unnecessary expectations placed on men to deliver perfection on this day. Women are once again plagued with advertisements and commercials like Wonderbra that depict size-2 models with skinny waists having the perfect Valentine’s Day, and are reminded of the way the media thinks they need to look.

My largest problem with the holiday is this: love should be celebrated every day, instead of just being brought to attention one day of the year. Waiting to celebrate your spouse or significant other until the day is just a way that Valentine’s Day distorts your thinking. Everyone has a love language, or a method by which love is best translated to them according to The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Valentine’s Day is made for those with the specific “gifts” love language, while people who experience love through “words of affirmation” or “acts of service” are forced to change their ways in order to adapt to the norms of the holiday. Love, a concept that is held to such high standards by the Christian community of Westminster, can’t be bought or delivered through a day of Italian dinner and heart-shaped milk chocolates. The huge expectations associated with Valentine’s Day just perpetuate this idea. Love should be encouraged everyday in reasonable ways geared towards the person. As a Christian community, we need to push ourselves towards loving like Jesus would; unconditionally and without any strings attached. And Valentine’s Day, a day devoted to the conditions and the strings, does not promote the Biblical love that we should be striving towards.